dear concordia, please pay for me to fly to new york and present my research. love, maggie.

the following is the abstract for my senior research paper... don't fall asleep!



I began my research on Saint Augustine’s views on women with my own preconceptions in regards to the topic. Tainted by popular analysis in academia, I had believed Augustine to have a negative concept of women, in support of the superiority of men. What I found was quiet different. Through looking at several of Augustine’s writings throughout his life, I was able to see changes in his concept of women. Augustine, in his younger years, may have entertained the ideology of the previously suggested notion, however, if one is to look closely at his later writings, one would see that Augustine often writes in support of women’s equality with men in their spiritual power, role in original sin as well as choice, marriage, etc. In my paper, I will use a historical methodological lens to take a closer look at the periods in Augustine’s life that influenced his views on women. By focusing on Augustine’s time immersed in Greco-Roman pagan culture, practicing Manichaeism, his study of Neo-Platonism and, finally, his life as a bishop in the Roman Catholic Church, one is able to clearly observe the metamorphosis of this great theologian’s theories on women. Throughout each of these life periods, Augustine is influenced by the cultural views, thought constructs and practices of that particular lifestyle that formed popular opinion on the views and treatment of women. As previously eluded, this is not a common view throughout academia. Many would agree that Augustine was influenced by his surroundings; however, I have yet to discover a scholar that embraces the idea that Augustine’s different life periods influenced his views on women, allowing them to change throughout his life. In my paper, I hope to bring greater light to this concept, sharing my findings in hope of continued dialogue throughout the academic word.


word.

i am not.

you know that feeling you get when something just doesn't feel right? you get a twinge in your stomach, a reaction in your heart, tension in your muscles. well, this has been happening a lot lately.

i honestly feel like, this past year, i have fallen into the person in which i was made to be. i feel like i finally know who i am, what i want, how i want to grow and be challenged, etc.
a lot of this self-discover has been made possible by the statements and beliefs of others...they have helped me define who i am not in order to better see who i am.

make sense? well, maybe i can articualte through the serious and the silly.

i am not.

i am not interested in the latest hoax.
the lastest diet trend... the latest work out trend.... the latest beauty trend....
my skin may never be perfect and my butt may never be small and that's ok. i wasn't made to fit into a cookie cutter shape of a person. i am healthy and i take great pride in that.

i am not interested in making my life seem as though it is perfect.
sometimes things are not awesome...that's life. i am not interested in putting on a face for the people around me. if i'm upset, it will be healthy for me to articulate.
it's ok to be mad, hurt, let down. if anything, these emotions let us know we are alive.

i am not interested in being loud, obnoxious, rude or inappropriate in order to get others attention.
there are so many beautiful ways to make a statement, to stand up for something, to show your intentions. i want people to see my life as a compliment of action. i don't need to be recognized... in fact, this makes me quite uncomfortable.

i am not interested in taking sides.
i don't care if what someone believes is completely different that my own philosophy, theology or idealology. there are always similarities...why not recognize them?

i'm not interested in judging.
i sin, you sin, we all sin. what kind of right do you have to point fingers? i heard someone, last year, say that they believed the disaster in haiti was God's punishment for the people who practice witchcraft. i didn't say anything...and i still cry about that.

i am not interested in the word "tolerance".
it implies that we are better than the person/object/thing/idea we are tolerating. it implies that you must accept this person/object/thing/idea but not love it.
we are all called to love.

i am not interested in being idle.
i love to move, i love to be busy. i love finding different purposes for my life.

i am not interested in complaining.
if you have food, clothes and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world.
if you have any spare change, you are in the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
less than 1% of the world will have a college education.
your life is not that bad...really.

i am not.

the view from mt. sinai

hello all :)

yes, yes..i know it's been awhile. i give you permission to ostrasize me; but honestly, i'm not sure if anyone reads this anyways so i may just ostrasize myself. i have full intentions to blog regularly this summer...we'll see how that goes.

anyway.

i spent the month of may in the middle east. i spent two weeks in jordan, living in a small village named orjan. the other two weeks were spent in the mountains and desert land of egypt's sinai peninsula.

there are a million things i could talk about in regards to this adventure and my future blogs will probably touch on a few of these topics but for today, i would simply like to talk about mt. sinai.

yes, thee mt. sinai.

as in moses and the 10 commandments.

i got to hike up and camp on the side of mt. sinai as i was transitioning from my time in the mountains to my time spent in desert. now, i'm a religion major and i want to do graduate studies in christianity. climbing up mt. sinai should be kind of a big deal.

but it wasn't.

i was expecting being on mt. sinai to be this huge, pivitol, life changing moment for me and it just wasn't. with my time spent in the middle east i climbed several mountains and mt. sinai felt like any old mountain.

i found an overlook on the mountain and sat down to catch my breath and to analyze this lack luster reaction. this got me thinking about pilgrimages. as i sat on the peaceful, "road less traveled" side of mt. sinai i thought about the thousands of tourists on the other side being safely escorted to the top.

i wonder, what brings them? what do they expect to experience from an air conditioned charter bus? why mt. sinai?

i wonder, why do people feel the need to go on such pilgrimages? why are they so often encouraged? certainly, they're not bad things but why is it so important to visit places such as mt. sinai?

i believe in a faith that is alive and active. my faith is not just alive on mt. sinai, it is everywhere. God does not reside on sinai alone, i believe God is in the hearts and souls of everyone, whether we recognize that or not.

certainly, i believe that mt. sinai is a holy place but i can affirm that this world is covered in holy ground.

from egypt to jordan. from the red light district of amsterdam to the projects in davenport, iowa. from the most beautiful mountain peaks to the unimpressive flatlands of fargo-moorhead. this planet is holy.

i had much more of faith building experience while spending the afternoon laughing with my muslim friends in their mountain garden than i ever will on mt. sinai.

i saw God much clearer in their eyes than i ever would while staring into a pile of red granite.

i don't think this discounts anything that happened on mt. sinai, or it's biblical importance. instead i think this view gives credit to the amazing power of God. how awesome is our God that he can reside in the hearts of all who love Him, even those who don't.

something to think about.

peace,

m.